In my e-book and workshop “Silencing Your Inner Saboteur” I discuss how common it is for family and friends to be the ones who stand in our way of making changes, completing our projects, following through on a diet, and even following our dreams.
It isn’t that our family and friends aren’t well intentioned. They are. They want to keep you safe, keep you from being hurt. The problem is that their idea of keeping you safe from rejection or the pain of failure creates a different pain inside you. They don’t realize that preventing you from growing, exploring, dreaming, and changing, can stifle your spirit and make you unhappy.
Often times, the sabotaging by family and friends can be subconscious. It can be as simple as pulling away from us when we begin to change, so to keep them close, we return to the way we were. It can also be as simple as miscommunication. We may be saying the same words but for each of us, they may have a different meaning.
It can be as painful as them telling us they know us better than we know ourselves and that we are only setting ourselves up for failure. Do they really know the passion inside of you for pursuing what you want?
What about our own perception of what our family expects of us? Do you believe it is expected of you to go into the family business? Are all your relatives doctors and lawyers and so you believe you are expected to do the same when you would rather be a teacher?
Does this mean you have to throw away your family and find new friends? Absolutely not. Start by sitting down and talking with them, explain your passion, reassure them you are aware there will be pot-holes along the way but you are working out a plan to deal with them.
Most importantly, tell them you love them. Tell them that your desire for change does not diminish your love for them or your need for their friendship. Tell them you need their love and support more than ever as you embark on this new path.
When you have the support of family and friends softens the pain of the potholes you may run into, and elevates the victories as you have people to share them with. And the journey becomes that much more enjoyable and manageable because you have people behind you, cheering you on, and helping you out when you need them.
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